


everything that makes me breathe: i want it to be simple

by cute_lil_fluff



Series: svt requests: december '18 - january '19 [11]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 14:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_lil_fluff/pseuds/cute_lil_fluff
Summary: “You alright?” Jihoon asks him as he’s pulling his jacket on, checking his pockets for his wallet and keys. He’s not even looking at Chan, but he can tell that something’s a little off. Jihoon’s more observant than he lets on. So observant, in fact, that he would definitely know if Chan were to lie to him. Chan grits his teeth.updated 06/03/19





	everything that makes me breathe: i want it to be simple

  
Chan really had been looking forward to going out with Jihoon. The elder rarely spent their free time outside of his studio, but he had agreed to go shopping with Chan weeks ago. Chan is very pleased to spend time with his hyung. Also, it also means that he’s most likely going to be treated to lunch, as Jihoon is well known to do, especially with him. He’s always had a soft spot for their youngest. Chan is not going to complain about that- there’s a little Thai place by the mall that he’s been _dying_ to try out.

Despite his excitement leading up to their day off, Chan couldn’t help but admit that he wasn’t feeling his best when the day actually rolled around. For starters, he’d woken up late, which was always a sign that he wasn’t going to have the greatest of days. He always loved waking up early, sitting next to the window with a cup of tea whilst the world was still asleep. It was only when he was getting run down that his body wouldn’t play into his morning plans.

He tries not to let the uncomfortable feeling under his skin ruin his day off, though, quickly getting himself ready. He showers and puts on his favourite outfit and heads off towards the studio to meet Jihoon, basking in the sunshine and stopping to get them coffee on the way. The others usually get Jihoon black coffee when they visit him- because that’s what he always asks for- but Chan knows that Jihoon as a secret sweet tooth and is always partial to a latte.

Jihoon rolls his eyes when he takes a sip of the drink but he gives Chan a hug as a thank you.

“You alright?” Jihoon asks him as he’s pulling his jacket on, checking his pockets for his wallet and keys. He’s not even looking at Chan, but he can tell that something’s a little off. Jihoon’s more observant than he lets on. So observant, in fact, that he would definitely know if Chan were to lie to him. Chan grits his teeth.

“I’m not one hundred per cent.” Is how he chooses to respond. He doesn’t want to turn around and complain to Jihoon about how jittery and unsteady he feels. They’re supposed to be enjoying today, Jihoon doesn’t want to listen to him whining. It’s not even that bad, anyway- he’ll deal with it. It’ll be fine.

Jihoon doesn’t push him to explain further, and for that Chan is grateful. He ruffles Chan’s hair as he walks past and holds the door open for him to exit first, chuckling at the younger scrambles to get his fringe back in order.

They walk to one of the closest shopping outlets to the Pledis building which- thankfully- is neither very big nor very popular. They don’t have to worry as much about being hounded by fans when they go there. They love their fans, sure, but being surrounded and followed when they’re supposed to be resting is never fun.

They both have a few bits and pieces, and Chan spends a good while browsing his favourite bookshop, Jihoon watching over his shoulder as he flicks through a couple of novels and humming proudly when he chooses one in Japanese.

Chan’s having a good time, shopping is one of the things he tends to find therapeutic- he’s almost able to ignore the butterflies dancing low in his stomach. Jihoon usually disagrees with this opinion, but he seems to be enjoying himself as well- keeping up a conversation with Chan as they go from store to store, teasing him when Chan directs them towards the candle section in the pharmacy, stopping to smell almost every single one.

By the time they’re ready for lunch, though, Chan is worn out, his feet dragging against the pavement, his hand wrapped up in the fabric of his sleeves. He points towards the nearest coffee shop he can see when Jihoon asks him where he wants to eat, forgetting all about his plans for Thai food. He doesn’t have the energy to care where they end up.

Before Chan even realises, Jihoon has taken him by the wrist and dragged him across the road, into the cafe. He can tell that the younger is stressed out- he just wants to get him somewhere that he can relax for a bit. Jihoon gets him to the first free table he sees and drops into the seat opposite him.

Chan leans his elbows on the table-top, his face nestled in the cradle of his hands. He lets out a long breath, swaying slightly where he sits. Jihoon’s hands circle his wrists, fingertips brushing across the soft skin on the underside of them. “Channie?” He asks softly. “You alright, kid?” Chan doesn’t respond, he just trembles.

Jihoon eyes the other patrons of the coffee shop, glaring back at those who have decided to stare at his dongsaeng. It’s not that he’s embarrassed- he could never be embarrassed by Chan- he just knows that Chan would be. And, it’s rude anyway- they should stick to worrying about their own business. “Come on, Channie. Talk to me, how can I help you?” He asks once he’s turned back to the boy, his priority.

Chan looks up at him, palms still hiding his mouth, the ends of his fingers turning white from how hard he’s pressing them into his own skin. His eyes are wide and wet, such a startling change from how much happier he’d been before. It’s not like Jihoon hadn’t noticed that Chan was anxious- he’d kept close to Jihoon’s side ever since they’d left the studio, he’d steadily grown quieter the longer they were out in public, zoning out a little when Jihoon wasn’t keeping him talking.

Jihoon should have taken him home hours ago.

Chan’s eyes drift from his hyung’s and Jihoon kicks himself as he watches Chan realise that there are people staring at him. He shrinks into himself, muffling the pained sob that pulls from his throat. Jihoon freezes for a second, overwhelmed- he doesn’t know what to do. He does all that he can, reaching out to pet Chan’s hair, muttering to him in a soothing voice. “It’s okay, Channie-yah. Don’t worry, I’ve got you. It’s okay.” He tries to reassure the younger but he’s not doing a great job- there are tears dribbling onto Chan’s cheekbones and his lips are trembling as he desperately keeps his sobs inside his mouth, his gasping breaths getting louder despite his efforts to stay silent.

“Sir,” Jihoon startled, immediately looking up to see the barista stood beside their table. He’s worried, for just an instant, that they’re about to get kicked out. But they continue, nervous hand fiddling with the pocket on the front of their apron. Something tells Jihoon that they’re a fan. “There’s an office in the back of the shop that’s empty if you need some space. Privacy.” Their eyes flit to Chan’s trembling form- who doesn’t seem to have noticed the new arrival- their eyes nothing but concerned at the state the boy is in.

Jihoon physically sighs in relief. “That would be great, thank you.” He replied, and the barista steps back to give Jihoon enough room to get Chan up. Jihoon wraps an arm around Chan’s middle, hosting him out of his chair from beneath the armpits. “Come here, Channie. Let’s go somewhere quiet. Does that sound good?” Jihoon mumbles- Chan only whimpers sadly in response.

The barista leads them behind the counter and down a short corridor until they reach the office, a desk on the far side of the room and a couple of sofas closer to the door. Jihoon thanks them again before they leave them be, closing the door behind themselves with one last worried glance towards Chan. Jihoon walks Chan backwards and sits him down on one of the sofas. He immediately falls to the side, laying down and curling up on the cushions. He wraps his arms around himself and tucks his chin against his chest making himself as small as possible.

“There you go, kid. Get comfy, alright. You’re okay. It’s just us, Chan-ah.” Chan doesn’t muffle his sobs anymore, they’re loud and raw and they go straight through Jihoon- he has to blink quickly to keep himself from tearing up as well. He kneels down beside the sofa and rubs one hand up and down the length of Chan’s spine, the other grasping at both of his hands. Chan grips onto him, squeezing at his knuckles, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Focus on your breathing, buddy. Deep breaths, come on now.” Jihoon’s almost begging now, not liking the red flush to Chan’s cheeks paired with the blue tint to his lips. Chan does his best to follow the order, squeezing his eyes closed and turning his face towards the cushion beneath him as his chest burns with the need for oxygen.

Jihoon sits there, clueless, desperately keeping his hands on Chan, hoping that it’s somewhat comforting. He’d literally do anything right now to see Chan’s bright smile again. It’s so painful to see him so breaking- he’s only _little_. Jihoon’s not good at this, he knows that. But he’s always prepared to step up to the mark when he has too. He may not be the most affectionate, but he cares about his members a whole damn lot.

“It- hyung, it hurts- hyung-” Chan coughs out between his sobs, his voice already shot. The hand Jihoon has on Chan’s back moves to squeeze at the base of his neck instead, massaging his tense muscles. Chan presses back into his touch, dragging in a decently long breath.

“I know, Channie. I know. Just try for me, please. You’re doing so well, you’re okay, I promise. You have no reason to be scared.” Jihoon mumbles, lowering his head to press a kiss to the back of Chan’s hand. Slowly but steadily, Chan regulates his breathing, counting to himself- Jihoon mentally slaps himself. _The fours, how did he not think of that?_

“Can we go home?” Chan blinks his eyes open and looks up at Jihoon. The elder finds himself lost for words- Chan looks so _sad_ , so _broken_ , his eyes and cheeks red and damp. Jihoon’s immediately nodding, brushing away some of the sweat beading on Chan’s forehead. He sits back on his heels to help Chan into a sitting position, straightening out his crumpled shirt, patting down his dishevelled hair, using his sleeves to wipe the remaining tears away.

“I’ll get you home.”

Jihoon thanks the barista again, profusely, leaving a hefty tip in the jar on the counter even though they hadn’t ended up buying anything. Chan keeps his head lowered, cowering behind Jihoon- Jihoon's instinct is to scold him for being rude, before remembering how worked up Chan had been. He's probably embarrassed, he's probably still anxious. He can't force the poor boy to do anything but get into bed and cuddle one of his hyungs. He can't bring himself to, anyway.

It’s only once they’re on the walk home when Chan speaks up. He’s got both of his arms wrapped around one of Jihoon’s, pressed against his side, chin basically resting on his shoulder. “Were people laughing at me?” He asks, his voice so quiet, Jihoon would have missed it if he wasn't so close. Jihoon knocks their foreheads together softly, fondly.

“No, Chan. People were watching, but they all just looked worried. It was rude though, _they should keep to themselves, they-_ ” Jihoon bites his tongue- him getting angry would do nothing to help Chan right now. "No one was laughing at you, kid. I wouldn't let them, you know that." Chan sighs softly by his ear, nodding. Out of the corner of his eye, Jihoon can see a smile on his lips. His face is still flushed, his eyes still teary, but he's smiling- Jihoon's done his job.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't tell what i think about this one,,,
> 
> hope you liked <3
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](https://hattieie.tumblr.com)
> 
> **updated 06/03/19**  
>   
> 
> requested by [babybabybeauty](https://babybabybeauty.tumblr.com/)


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